Coming To Terms With Your Child

A pregnancy is a time of excitement, joy, and miraculous events that are taking place inside the womb – safe and snug, tucked away from the outside world and prying eyes. In past decades it was the moment of birth that would reveal a child’s gender, her or his health, and also outward appearance. In some cases, it was not until birth that a parent-to-be realized that there would be two hungry mouths to feed and bottoms needing diapering! Yet with the leaps and bounds by which prenatal screening has developed from an art into a solid science, the guess work has been taken out of the fetal development and while women still do not sport windows into their wombs, they sometimes might feel like it!

Fetal heartbeat is tracked early on, sonograms reveal the growth of the child and movements as well as the gender, 3-D ultrasounds allow excited parents to glimpse their child’s facial features in astounding details, while maternal blood testing as well as tests involving the amniotic fluid and cell from the umbilical chord provide the peace of mind that all is well and no birth defects are present. Yet every single year in the United States more than 150,000 pregnancies do not progress with such a positive outcome; instead, for some it means coming to terms with your child’s birth defects.

The severity of these defects varies, as those the presentation: some are very clearly visible while others are internal and may not show up for years to come. Still others will do precious little to impact your child’s life and with a bit of assistance your child will live a healthy, happy and full life; sadly, in some cases the birth defects will drastically rob your child of a long, healthy life and instead cut down the life expectancy by half or more. In severe cases, children are not expected to survive childhood or even infancy.

The emotional roller coaster that you will experience if you are presented with the possibility or reality of a birth defect in your child I heart rendering; there is no one person who will completely understand what you go through and you yourself most likely will not understand how you feel either. Coming to terms with your emotions will probably be the hardest demand on you; on the one hand you are dealing with shattered dreams while on the other hand you are responsible for the fragile life of your child – whether born or as of yet unborn.

While all of your emotions are valid, it is comforting that in the midst of this turmoil you do have the possibility to look toward the future. No matter what the birth defect may be, there is bound to be a support organization devoted to it. All of these organizations are wellsprings of information, resources, and endless support quite frequently provided by parents who have walked in your shoes. Avail yourself of their help, guidance, counsel and support. Frequently you will find that talking to someone who has been through it will help you see that there is hope and that a birth defect will not diminish the love you will have for your child, the enjoyment you and your child will share, and the affections and devotion that is unique to every parent-child relationship.

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